


Bloody Fucking Artists

by KillTheDirector



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, John and Sebastian are reluctant friends, M/M, Painter-Sculptor rivalries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-08
Updated: 2012-10-08
Packaged: 2017-11-15 22:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/532342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillTheDirector/pseuds/KillTheDirector
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian and John really don't know what to do with their flat mates/boyfriends. All they can really do is sit down for a drink and gripe to each other about "bloody fucking <i>artists</i>".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bloody Fucking Artists

**Author's Note:**

> I based Sherlock and Jim's rivalry around Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci's rivalry; it's amusing and if you wanna read more, go here: http://100swallows.wordpress.com/2011/05/01/why-michelangelo-disliked-leonardo-da-vinci/
> 
> Also a little off the rivalry between the studio art majours and VCD majours at my own school (though it never gets this bad).

"I _hate_ him." Sebastian sighed at the flop of a body falling beside him on the bed. "I absolutely despise the ground he walks upon!" 

Finishing a rather in depth note about the battle of Hastings, Sebastian looked up with a raised brow. "Who?" He asked dryly, although he knew the answer already; jim had come home from classes more often than not hissing about the _fucking sculptor who needs to get destroyed by a bloody pottery wheel._

Jim's glare flashed up from the bed, and Sebastian saw the art student's mouth twist in displeasure. "Sherlock _fucking_ Holmes."

Their rivalry was getting a bit famous around campus. Many professors (especially the art history ones) had laughed and compared it to the rivalry between Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo; Sebastian just thought it was a bitch feast between two equally childish prats.

He sighed and patted Jim's head, looking back down at his book before it was tugged away and he was granted a lapful of irritated art student. Sebastian fixed a little glare on his face even though he was perfectly fine with the situation, and growled a little when Jim leaned down and licked a stripe over his throat. "I have a test in three hours." Jim's teeth clamped down on Sebastian's pulse point, earning a half-choked huff from the history student.

"Studying is boring. I need attention." Sebastian rolled his eyes, and hissed when Jim languidly ground his hips down. 

"You are such a prick." He huffed, hands moving to clamp down around Jim's narrow waist. The art student flashed him a pathetic looking pout which only caused Sebastian to roll his eyes again. 

"I've had a bad day and you're not even going to _help_?" Jim sniffled a little, throwing puppy-dog eyes into the mixture; Sebastian twitched, and he could nearly see Jim's little mental victory dance. 

He moved his hips up against the shorter of the two, a soft groan falling out of Jim's mouth when Sebastian leaned over and gave him a quick bruising kiss. "As I said, you're a prick." 

()()

The rivalry started--at least from what John Watson (Sherlock's flat mate/whatever the hell they were) had said--because one of Jim's giant canvases had taken up the space where one of Sherlock's sculptors would go in the student gallery. 

"Also they're both considered geniuses by the art department, so it's no wonder both their egos won't fit in the same building." John rolled his eyes and took a long pull of his pint. Sebastian huffed out a laugh and looked over to where Jim was planning to throw a dart at Sherlock's head. 

"'Geniuses'?" Sebastian asked, tone sarcastic; Jim's grin turned positively evil when the dart he had thrown caused Sherlock to jump and glower menacingly at the thing protruding out of the wall scant inches from his ear. "More like idiotic children." 

John snorted and sighed when Sherlock began to throw peanuts at the painter. " _Artists_." He said with a shake of his head, tone filled with exasperated fondness. 

Sebastian lifted his glass and took a sip. "Artists." He agreed.

()()

"I WILL ABSOLUTELY _NOT_ WORK WITH HIM." Jim yelled into his mobil, knuckles bleached white from the grip. Sebastian looked up from the pot of macaroni he had been boiling, brows furrowed in question. Jim's face was pulled into an expression of complete _rage_ , his thin lips nearly white with how hard he was pursing them together. 

"I don't _care_ if you _claim_ that the piece we'd do would be fantastic. Of _course _it would be! But if I have to work in the same studio with that _poor excuse for an artist_ , I would rather pluck out my eyes and chop off my hands!" Sebastian stifled his snicker of amusement, the choked sound earning him a heated glare from Jim. "No. I'm telling you again because it seems like you can't wrap your miniscule brain around the concept. No. No. Never in my life will I ever work with Sherlock Holmes." His thumb pressed down hard on the screen of his mobil, nearly cracking it with the action.__

__Sebastian walked over, two bowls of macaroni in hand as Jim breathed deeply. "What do they want you to do?" He asked slowly, unsure he had stable ground to walk on. Jim's jaw clenched, but his shoulder's relaxed when Sebastian plopped down and pulled his body against his._ _

__"The department is asking/requesting/ _demanding_ that he and I work on a piece together for the benefactor's charity event." Thin hands snatched the bowl from Sebastian's; Jim savagely stabbed the noodles and brought them to his mouth, chewing as if he was imagining it was Sherlock's head. Which to be honest, he probably was. _ _

__Sebastian rolled his eyes and began eating his dinner, abet with less violence. "...maybe you should." He said slowly, watching as Jim's dark eyes flashed over to him in anger. He held up a hand, causing Jim to still whatever curse he was about to sling. "Hear me out. You said it yourself that whatever piece you both do would be fantastic, and I agree. You're both pretty amazing at what you do."_ _

__Jim's mouth pursed together for a second, expression turning thoughtful. He lifted a forkful of noodles to his mouth and turned away from the history student. "Traitor." He hissed under his breath, causing a little grin of success to work over Sebastian's mouth._ _

__()()_ _

__"Wait wait wait. You're saying you convinced him to work with Sherlock?" John stared over the library table, mouth open in shock. Sebastian shrugged a shoulder, scribbling down a few notes. John kicked him under the table, causing the history student to hiss in pain._ _

__" _Tit._ Anyway, yeah I did. Jim was plotting murder, so I sort of talked him down from it." He rose an eyebrow at the groan that came from the pre-med student. "What?" _ _

__John let his head thunk to his large _Grey's Anatomy_ book. "Sherlock is going to be ten times more insufferable!" John lifted his head, eyes fixed into a glare. "I swear to God if he goes on a tangent about how 'brilliant minds shouldn't be waisted on smearing colours across paper like a primary schooler' I'm going to _lose it_." _ _

__Sebastian snorted in amusement and looked back down at his book. He lightly licked one finger and flipped a page, corner of his mouth perked in a smirk. "Artists, doctor."_ _

__"Fuck you." Came the grumbled reply._ _

__()()_ _

__" _Anyone_ can slap colours onto a canvas." Sebastian paused outside of the studio door, glancing over at John who looked as if he was about to punch someone in the face. _ _

__He could hear Jim's snort and practically see the large eye roll that accompanied it. "Yes, but it actually takes _finesse_ unlike your chipping away at a chunk of marble like a caveman." There was the sound of something being thrown and then the indigent squawk as whatever it was made its mark. _ _

__"You arse!"_ _

__"Dusty twat!"_ _

__"Paint smeared buffoon!"_ _

__"Clay eating child!"_ _

__Both John and Sebastian let out long sighs; the taller of the two ran a hand through his hair, looking at the door and hearing the sounds of art supplies being thrown. He looked down at the pre-med student and rose a brow. "Should we stop them?"_ _

__John snorted and shook his head, turning away from the door. "Let them get kicked out on their own. Wanna grab a drink?"_ _

__Both of them rolled their eyes when a tube of paint rolled out of the studio. " _Artists_ "._ _


End file.
